Wrap. Stack. Pack – no thanks.
Job hunting.
That’s me. I’m on the hunt.
At first I was open to pretty much anything – but now I’ve got my heart set on a big ol’ life change.
I live in a tiny village in the English countryside. Quaint, yes. Exiting, no. This week our local papers headline was ”Sheep gives birth.”
Yup. High-octane stuff. Its amazing. No-one seems to know anything about the outside world here. Its a ”Sheep gives Birth” kinda place – subtitle ”Barrack Obama invades Russia” kinda place.
I started looking for Jobs in the employment section recently. It wasn’t long before I realised I probably wouldn’t find what I was after – who was I kidding.
I considered a warehouse job. ‘Wrap, Stack, Pack’ was the title. I could imagine myself on my first day – ”OH! I get it, sorry, its wrap, stack THEN pack..”
So I turned to the internet.
See, I want a job being creative. I want to write stuff. Vague I know. But I want to write stuff that makes people laugh – or think – or both. I’m a guy with very little. I don’t have a degree, or much experience. I’ve got £21 in my bank account and a car that doesn’t work when it rains, and that’s pretty much it.
So I sat.
I sat in front of this computer screen as I do now, and went on some kinda Job hunting rampage. I sat here for hours; applying to every humor writing job I could find – It got to the point where I was filling in forms with ”Sam Drury.26. Hilarious” and hammering the additional notes section with ”I must re-iterate, just how funny I am, Im talking laugh out lound shit your pants funny.”
No response as yet….
Maybe I should try ”please respond to this, my eyes are starting to bleed”
In fact I might even go to these places. I wont drive if its raining, but I’ll go to these places – walk on in there and start writing.
Who knows. Going from A to B might be harder than I thought.
I better take the bus.
Doors Will Open 
I feel your jobless pain. Breaks my already crushed heart to see someone in such a pickle.
Going to the job (not sure where you’d go, but wherever your potential job is) isn’t all that bad of an idea.
I’ve heard some pretty inspirational stories of people showing up randomly to a job, presenting them with such great material, and the company hires them.
Don’t tell them how funny your are, anyone can say that they are funny. Force them to see how funny your are. Not in a crazy stalker way of course, but a dedicated way.
Me too – I want one of those stories to happen, right now!
I don’t actually think I’m hilarious – it was more a bid to capture their attention – or even imagination.
I’m on it!
Sam,
Seems to me you have a funny edge when you’re out and about observing things. So at the risk of being a bit forward, maybe you just need to get out there and do some of those awful jobs and write about it. Worst case it puts some bread on the table and gives you ample fodder for doing what you do – observing and making great fun of it all. Best case it gives you an ample portfolio of writing to show off your skills and capture the attention of those dunderheads you want to write so badly for. Just an idea…
“There’s no credit to being a comedian when you have the whole government working for you. All I have to do is report the facts. I don’t even have to exaggerate.”
~Will Rogers.
Spot on phil. I need to build the portfolio – double time.
For a supposed writer – I don’t write much.
Thanks for the advice. Will drop in soon.
“See, I want a job being creative. I want to write stuff. Vague I know. But I want to write stuff that makes people laugh – or think – or both. I’m a guy with very little. I don’t have a degree, or much experience. I’ve got £21 in my bank account and a car that doesn’t work when it rains, and that’s pretty much it. “.. thats me. although the £21 is promised to the mechanic who is going to have to take the rest of payment in buttons, and ive eaten nothing but crisps dunked in value cream cheese for three days. by choice. theres no hope!!
HAHA! Tink, I believe we have the same car actually, I saw a photo in one of your posts. The mighty 106. Although mines in putrid green. Its the car that clashes with EVERYTHING.
My bumper sticker reads ”my other car doesn’t make your eyes hurt”
drop in soon.
I should probably blog more – you’re a blogging machine!!
s x
Very witty, i will enjoy following your blog. “)